Harmful and difficult age will someday end! In the meantime, some useful tips on how to contact a teenager.
Adolescence is the most tender. No longer a child, but not yet an adult. Ready to do adult things, but not ready to take responsibility for them
Someone is going through puberty calmly, almost imperceptibly to others, while other children suffer painfully. And both for yourself personally and for others. In this regard, for many parents, the problem is relevant: how to communicate with a teenager 12, 13, 14, 15, and sometimes even 16 years old.
Rule 1: Create a gray area and read https://argoprep.com/blog/culturally-responsive-teaching-what-you-should-know/
A teenager is characterized by opposition: he will do everything in defiance of you, testing you for strength and exploring the boundaries of what is permissible. The task of parents during this period is to strike a balance between prohibitions and permissions. If you forbid experiments, the teenager will still make his share of mistakes, he will simply select them from the “black list”. And he will let you deal with the consequences even without a “trusting relationship”.
Rule 2: Respect your teen’s space
The desire for loneliness is another feature of adolescence. A teenager sharply distinguishes himself. This is the need for a separate space, a room to be alone. Many parents, realizing this need, intuitively solve this problem based on the capabilities of the family, but forget to maintain personal space. For example, they do not knock on the door of the room, dictate which posters can be hung and which not, and so on down the list. If you are ready to allocate territory to him, its boundaries must be respected. Allowing a child to make a fire in his room is not worth it, but knocking on the door is a must, unless, of course, you want him to knock when he comes to you.
Rule number 3. Accept teenage feelings and https://argoprep.com/blog/norm-referenced-vs-criterion-referenced-test/ for what they are.
When talking about accepting a teenager’s personal space, don’t forget about his feelings. At this age, the child has an acute sensitivity to third-party assessments. Imagine how a son or daughter comes at 10 years old and says that he has fallen in love. How will you react to this? Will you take it seriously? Can you not show laughter or a grin? But you must! Unrequited love in teenagers hurts no less than in adults, and divided love fills the soul at any age, both at 30 and at 50. Do you want a confidential conversation when the child becomes an adult? Start talking to him at twelve.
Rule number 4. Agree with desires
A teenager wants to be with an adult partner. Who accepts, understands. And most importantly, who will help. This can be expressed in such trifles as, for example, asking: “Mom, pour me some tea, please.” He can do it himself, but his mother’s participation is important to him even in this moment. Of course, this does not mean that you have to break loose and run to the child on demand. But it is possible and even necessary to fulfill some of his desires.
Rule number 5. Do not criticize, but discuss
Adults conduct a dialogue, do not scold each other. They sort things out, look for common ground, sometimes they break dishes. Do you want your son (daughter) to share his victories and feelings with you? For this, the first four points are enough. But if you want to know about troubles and problems, stop criticizing him.
By respecting the feelings, desires and personal boundaries of a teenager, listening to what he talks about, you can easily gain trust and help you overcome the most difficult moment in your age.